We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
