I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
