I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
