Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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