Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
