nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
