I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
