new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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