I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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