better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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