Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
