I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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