Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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