Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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