I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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