Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There r osticjed everywhere
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
