he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
