my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
