Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
pray to the hookup gods
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
