I must be too annoying 4 u.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
