How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
