matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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