It's Friday. Sex?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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