Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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