Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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