never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Randomize
