the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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