I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
