She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
