Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize