i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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