When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Life is so much better after having sex.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
