Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
