She said her name was "party"
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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