Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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