Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Say something about gay babies.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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