Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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