Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
operation have a gay friend backfired
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
