I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
