I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
