she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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