I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
