I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
