I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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