You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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