The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
