Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
