I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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