D3 body, D1 cock
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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