My first STD was from a foam party
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How's work?
Spinning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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