Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
