@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
