How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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