all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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