Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
