is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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