Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
