new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
