who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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