Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
