Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
