Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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