dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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