so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
