chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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