what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
